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November 16th, 2006


08:49 pm
Oh my god. The song is girls aloud.

I see my credibility running down the drain... :D

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08:41 pm - Assertive, and not being it
I really found the assertiveness course quite an eye-opener. Not in terms of work, in fact I came across as being assertive and positive in the work-place.

In my personal life though, the "manipulative" behaviour traits came out especially as being a strong part of my personality and I was wincing at the accurate description of how I lead my personal life!

I think, though, I've taken away some good ideas and terminology of how to get what I want without treading on other people's toes to get it. Or that's the idea. And some indicators of how not to be ruled solely by my emotions and gut reactions, too.

The thing coincided with what is meant to be a "new start" for Michael and I, I guess triggered by Dubai chappie incident. I don't want to go into details really, as part of the assertiveness course emphasised not saying behind people's backs, what you wouldn't say to their face. Suffice to say that we are talking *only that* and at the moment I am finding it painful, but am managing to keep hold of my emotions, which is a big big achievement for me!

Whether the whole thing is worth it is yet to be seen. I'm still holding out for meeting a Portillo-lookalike millionaire who loves Civil War re-enactment and looking after toddlers ... by serendipity ...

Well, one can dream!

PS I heard a song on Radio 1 today, that was sort of poppy but sort of electro too and it went "something kinda ooooooooh". But I don't know what it was or if one can download it. All help welcome!
Current Location: Home!
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Diamond Day, Vashti Bunyan

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November 8th, 2006


09:42 pm
Wrong place!

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09:33 pm - Pants-O
Well, the weekend was weird! (So weird, it's taken until Wednesday to write about it here...)

It seems I totally got the wrong end of the stick with Dubai chappie. Well, not quite. We both went to work do on Friday night and drank far too much (everyone did! Work provides us with far too much free alcohol!) Daughter was with her Aunt for the night, so I was a free bird, but not sure whether that was good. I ended up far away from work do, in the Hatchet with our head of Project Management (and Sam). Strange, strange...

Anyway, turns out Dubai chappie is not in the running for a relationship, apart from the physical side nudge nudge wink wink. Anyway, we had an honest chat and I'm not sad we're not taking things any further, on getting to know each other better I think we were not really compatible...

After this turmoil I had a lovely weekend with Parents, and Daughter, beautifully relaxing.... and we sang lots of songs from Oliver! ... I like that...

Got back to work and had a strange, heart-to-heart with Michael. Very strange, but the outcome - for now - is that I am going to look into cognitive behavioural therapy techniques. I think they can help me overcome some of the problems I've had with relationships (private and professional) in the past and at the moment, so although it feels weird, I'm actually feeling strangely positive. I wouldn't have thought Michael would be the person to help me through this stuff, though. That makes no sense.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Beds are Burning - Midnight Oil

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October 30th, 2006


10:39 pm - Is it me?
A very nice ex of mine just compared me to a graphical novel (comic) lady and sent me a link...

Of course I now have a fringe so it's all different but still... can anyone see the resemblance?

I actually think some parts of her look freakily like me. Not the gorgeous cheekbones too...




Other news: Work guy I like who's in dubai is COMING BACK TO BRISTOL at the end of this week... I think we are going to meet! Watch this space...
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Current Music: It Ain't Easy - David Bowie

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October 26th, 2006


11:10 pm - Bad? hair day
I cut a fringe into my hair tonight (first time since the age of 22, I think!). And then dyed what was left dark red.

I hope I don't regret it tomorrow.
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Soft Cell - Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

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October 23rd, 2006


10:27 pm - fanny craddock!
Just watched "Fear of Fanny" on BBC4. I thought it was really good, wonderful black comedy.

And they are doing a portrait of another TV female cook next week (will Julia Davis do it again?)
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams

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October 20th, 2006


08:27 pm - End of another week
Well, it's the end of another week and I am knackered and looking forward to a big long sleep and some lie-ins this weekend (visiting Parents again, is Mum's birthday... Should be lots of fun).

Work has been good this week. I'm now officially a quality engineer. So exciting. We also had an external audit which we passed with flying colours, I got lots of praise so I do think that this career change is the right one for me (no more finite element analysis will be weird, but I think I'll be putting my brain to good use).

Have been listening to a lot of 80s stuff this week. And Suzi Quatro. I didn't realise I had mp3s of her, but I do, just a few. They're on my iPod now and cheer me up on the way to work. Hooray.

I didn't do that big blog thing. I wanted to, but I was a bit knackered on Tuesday, and I got confused by the way in which you were meant to include the way history impinged on your life, or something. I don't want to write fake blogs - I want to write what's in my head, not something prescribed. And history does impinge on my life a lot - but I don't always want to blog about it... anyway rant over!

I need to ask purple pen how to link to live journal people in one's entries! Am so bad at IT it hurts.

Lovely work guy still texting me and always seems so happy to hear from me. It's a bitch he's so far away. But the texts are lovely and nice. Makes me quite happy!
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Human League - Sound of the Crowd

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October 16th, 2006


09:50 pm - Work guy
Did he text?
YES...

It's extremely nice to be texted by the first person you've fancied for 16 months...
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Kiss - I was made for loving you :)
Tags: ,

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08:13 pm - Ready for another week
Back home again, this time after a weekend with Mum and Daughter in Birmingham. Quite relaxing and lots of fun! We watched Strictly come Dancing and Daughter copied every dance in her Halloween "pumpkin" dress (It is not really a pumpkin but just a green and orange ballet style dress). Yet again I am getting strangely addicted to the programme, it is interesting to watch the people working so hard to try and dance well (as opposed to crap celebrity programmes like love island where they just sit around). Then we also watched Robin Hood (Guy of Gisburne far more charismatic, to my mind, than the guy(!) who plays Robin - he's not sexy at all).

And yesterday we watched the end of Jane Eyre (slightly over-egged ending? I think so, but the rest was good). So really far too much TV-watching going on for our own good.

Today a baby-orientated day with toddler group, lunch out and doing of Noddy jigsaw puzzle. Rather a gloomy picture, it is Noddy and policeman gloating over having put two sad elves behind bars, and fastened same with a giant gold padlock. Moral of the picture seems to be if you are fat you're OK, if you're thin you're definitely a bit dodgy...

Not much update with nice guy from work, although he *did* leave me his mobile number in a post it on my computer his last night in the office after I'd gone home, with "Keep in touch" written beneath, and we've texted since. But he's abroad in a few days, so if we are to make a friendship it will have to be totally texts and email, unless I should get to go out there with work. Oh well, it was a nice evening!
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Kate Bush - How to be Invisible

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